Bob Carroll, executive director of the Professional Football Researchers Association, complained that my place-kick “punt” play was boring. I disagree, but that got me to thinking about a number of football plays that are truly boring.
There are two types:
- non-competitive plays
- plays where the result is almost always the same
Non-competitive plays are those where the team in possession of the ball is not trying to gain yards or score. No one paid $50 to see that. It’s supposed to be a game, which is, by definition, competitive.
Result almost always the same
During the Soviet era, many observed that although the Soviet Union had elections, the incumbent won about 98% of the time. This was cited to prove that Soviet elections were a joke. Well, they weren’t much more of a joke than a college or pro P.A.T. kick. In 2004, NFL kickers were successful 99% of the time; NCAA Division I-A kickers, 95.3%. The P.A.T. kick is an anachronism. From 1938 through 1957, the percentage of successful P.A.T. kicks was between 65% and 74.4%. It was interesting back then. It no longer is.
Generally, any play that has the same result over 90% of the time is arguably boring.
Here is a list of boring plays that should be eliminated or diminished in importance and/or share of game time along with suggestions for how to do it.
|Play||Suggestion for improvement|
|NCAA and NFL P.A.T. kick||
a) make a touchdown count seven points, eliminate the opportunity to kick a one-point field goal after a touchdown, and change the number of additional points for a run or pass P.A.T. to one or
|Take a knee||
a) stop the clock immediately after a play in which an offensive ball carrier takes a knee behind his own line of scrimmage This would reduce the entire take-a-knee period from about two minutes now, if the defense has no timeouts left, to about 12 seconds total worst case.
|Scrimmage-kick receive team getting away from a kick and letting the kicking team down the ball||
Make the rule the same as a free kick, that is, either team can recover it once it goes ten yards.
|Deliberately throwing the ball out of bounds||
Although the rule allowing this if the quarterback is outside the box and the ball crosses the line of scrimmage just came in, take it out. It is a non-competitive play now and, as such, should be eliminated. If you want to protect the quarterback, make the rule say he is sacked if he is one-hand touched by a defender
Eliminate touchbacks if the ball touches the ground in the end zone and make kicking the ball out the back of the end zone on the fly the same penalty as kicking off out of bounds.
Start it at the end of the previous play as they now do in the NFL and shorten it to 30 seconds. At present, referees vary the time they take to start the play clock which is unfair to the team hurt by deviations from the average time. Who wants to watch a bunch of guys standing around doing nothing until the end of the play clock. Until they change that rule, my Football Clock Management book has a whole chapter on the slow-down offense. This rule was adopted by NCAA but not HS.
Eliminate it but restore whatever halo rule will let the returner secure the ball and protect himself before getting hit.
Doug Flutie's 2005 drop kick was a meaningless stunt. As my article on the subject indicates, the only possible legitimate use of the drop kick would be at the youth level below age 12 and maybe as a surprise field goal if someone could master the technique. Otherwise, it should be eliminated from the rule book.
Eliminate. Visitors receive first. Analogous to visiting team batting first in baseball.
|Deliberate delay of game||
Make penalty for such situations more costly so that no offense ever deliberately takes such a penalty.